Follow Your Inner Authority
Updated: Dec 24, 2019
“Pushing hurt…like no pain I have ever felt before in my entire life. So, I stopped. But Sol’s head was already crowning at this point. Can you imagine? Being at the brink of pain, I remember curling my toes, “open…close…open…close…” to see if I still had some sort of control over my body. I felt strained and stretched out from every hair follicle in my head down to the nails on my swollen toes. I noticed the sweat beneath me as I slide on my butt in and out of birthing positions. There was no contorting that my body could do to lessen the unfathomable feeling of chaos that I was experiencing.”
My meditation broke right after hearing the doctors words, “yeeeah, she’s doing so weeell, she’s already nine and a half centimeters dilated.” My eyes popped opened instantly with the shocking thought of pushing. Intimidated, I continued to meet each contraction with deep omnipotent breaths that liberated my mind from focusing on any pain. With each deep breath I remembered why I trusted myself to give birth so intentionally in the first place. I live by a code that is solely mine, and I was following my inner authority.
“ Contraction* “[inhale] This is helping the baby. [exhale]”
*Stronger Contraction* “[inhale] Intensifying contractions communicate to the brain that he’s getting ready to come out! [exhale]”
*Stronger Contraction* “[inhale] Childbirth…the pain… the fear…Sol’s entrance into the world…it’s natural, so everything’s okay. [exhale].”
Doctor: “Brittneeeey, how ya doin. Are you about ready to push?”
My brain stopped guarding my body when the pushing began. The pain came flooding in. I looked up to find my dad in the room using his serious voice on me…
To be continued…
Thank you for reading my story. I’d like to continue to share my life and journey to wellness with you the best way I can, empathetically. My inner authority, my truth, my alignment is present when I am living in a way that makes complete sense to me. Every risk is worth taking when I know I am following my heart. I have done this best as an artist, best-friend and mom. Nothing in the world beats being truly Brittney Coates. Every time I take a peek inside of her, she floods me back with so much more love than I could have ever imagined possible. And like so many of us who are working through the impact of our past and our current state of our affairs, I was used to contentment. Now, I have discovered a piece of me that is magical.
**Omnipotent (adjective): “infinite in power, as God.”
**Empathetically (adjective): “of, relating to or characterized by the psychologically identification with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others.”